living

I AM LIVING INSIDE OF THIS COMPUTER.

hey...

hey you --

it's winter out there. 

(good thing it's warm inside of a computer.)

longhorn lobotomy

I can't seem to focus on finishing one drawing right now. Instead, I'm manically working on about 12 -- overworking them to the point of ridiculousness and back (just the way I like it).

I had a dream last night that I suddenly decided to move to Chicago, but I had to drive there myself. I google mapped it in my dream, and it came out to be 11.5 hours, and the bizarre thing is -- I've never Google Mapped Chicago before, so there is no way I'd know the length of the drive. I woke up today, and I Google Mapped it out of curiosity, to see how close I was...and I was right on (11 hrs 28 min, says Google). A lot of weird stuff happened then, but that's extraneous (involving plastic, glowing santa heads in my car, and lost keys to a mysterious spirit-filled house I was supposed to live in for a week) . Maybe I should move to Chicago, maybe that's what this means. Maybe I also need to find a job and build some sort of a productive adult life, since I'm drawing 12 drawings at once and having dreams about Google Maps, wanderlust, and glowing santa heads.

Anyway, here's a simpler drawing I have (actually) finished. (My scanner is horrible, beware of that).

that silly grey matter

returning.

after trying out tumblr for a little...i've decided: blogspot it is.

a horrible attention span coupled with impatience is a deadly cocktail. i enjoy drinking it DAILY.

anyway...i'm working on a video. It is a compilation of videos i filmed this summer into indian summer. it's an autobiographical documentary...of sorts. and trust me, i use the term loosely. it's going to involve music, animation and other assorted insanity eventually, right now i'm just editing the clips in a very raw manner. i have a preview video edited, i'm going to post it here. this is an extremely rough sketch, but worth viewing nonetheless, especially if you don't like to think. (i don't want anyone to think when they watch this.)

disconnected memory strain is a brain pain, a pain in my brain that i gotta learn to DRAIN.
oh, grey matter -- you are so SILLY!



-kcr

vic

my body is a warm blanket right now and i regret nothing (ever). this would not make sense to anyone except for me, which is why i keep this strange, secret thing to which no one has complete understanding of but myself. there is a strange buzzing, and other-worldly fuzzing of the extremities that i cannot lie and say i haven't been familiar to before. it is just nice to have this back again, for myself, for secret, and for now. i needed this now and i have this now. it is as if the color red merged with blue and green, but in a really peaceful blending, to create a color that has never existed before; unrecognizable to the eye but calming to the overworked brain. all of the organs in this body -- this body that witnesses this particular hue -- are reduced to sweet-smelling, and softly-crisp dryer sheets (smelling of childhood, smelling of clean). i want it back, but i have it back -- just not the way it was. i want it never and forever. for this and for lying alone, wishing it gone.

foreverevernever

late hate come brain fail is fogging up this stupid incandescent lighting (which is already hard to see). what i say is what i say, but it's never what i mean. come on, brain drain, drown out dead nights that (kind of) bleed over into early mornings. i'm listening to winter music in the fall. i don't want winter, but i do want to listen to winter music. my parting shot: i want whatever infomercial that will lull me to sleep tonight instead feel like a warm hug. i just want a warm hug.

brainmelt

In some groggy, half-cognisant way, I think I saw every infomercial on television the other night.

i wrote a careless love

i woke up today, with this horrible feeling. The kind where...I know I had experienced something less than desirable, and I know that it must have been in my subconscious. I soon shook it off, chalking it up to whiskey and sleep aids. The day goes on, mostly -- especially summer days misplaced in fall (even though I truly dislike humidity; it was excusable).



-k