some of it not all of it

it's really stange, the way and timing which things have, or the way that things just suddenly appear never anticipated or expected. for most of these things, i just want to hide forever. and i want to know the meaning of all those strange dreams last night. i want to know the meaning of way more than meaning can ever begin to explain. there are too many "things" that no one can know, or in telling someone these things, they wouldn't be real anymore, and they're only real until they're explained because words never do justice. i did something tonight that i haven't done in a long time. i'm not proud, and i'm not disappointed. i just did, and i am. and i am still. this was nothing profound, everything just goes to show. and everyone keeps going in their own bubble and i can't say i'm any different. people don't really want to help when help is needed, and it's even just really hard to actually explain the definition of "help" and that it's even needed in the first place, ever. ever never everrrrrrrrr. forever.