the big perception shift

The Extenze infomercial is the new nyquil for me, apparently. More often than not, i am awake at 2:30/3:00/4:00 AM being lulled to sleep by infomercials, and that one seems to be on more than the rest.

every now and then i feel like i reach this strange self-actualization moment, and within that moment i realize too much, so much that i have to make sure i'm actually still there (by looking in the mirror or pinching my arm to see if the nerves are still alive and reacting). Today i had one of those, wherein i realized that i am actually getting older...and that one day i could possibly be old. Sounds pretty simple, but honestly, it was so bizarre to be within my own body during such a jarring moment of realization, as if i could already see myself aged, and the passage of time a huge tunnel, speeding and warping beyond my ability to recognize each moment as separate.

so...time is passing? really? i still think it's just a big trick.



i found this in the field the other day.