vic

my body is a warm blanket right now and i regret nothing (ever). this would not make sense to anyone except for me, which is why i keep this strange, secret thing to which no one has complete understanding of but myself. there is a strange buzzing, and other-worldly fuzzing of the extremities that i cannot lie and say i haven't been familiar to before. it is just nice to have this back again, for myself, for secret, and for now. i needed this now and i have this now. it is as if the color red merged with blue and green, but in a really peaceful blending, to create a color that has never existed before; unrecognizable to the eye but calming to the overworked brain. all of the organs in this body -- this body that witnesses this particular hue -- are reduced to sweet-smelling, and softly-crisp dryer sheets (smelling of childhood, smelling of clean). i want it back, but i have it back -- just not the way it was. i want it never and forever. for this and for lying alone, wishing it gone.