Sunday, February 19, 2012

somnambulant composition #1

i try to find the pretty in the ugly.  but all of the pretty is really pretty ugly.  it's all ugly.  there can be hope in all of the dark, and the one bit of light is enough to grab onto for the moment, but the moment is a fleeting breath, a once and done….a nice memory for maybe a week and some.  and then…done.  just done.  spend a night wrapped up in arms, spend months searching for the same, searching and never finding.  you can subsist on the lack of substance, but somehow something becomes way better than just nothing. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

kc, will your hypnagogic charity shakefree those of your slumbering looseleaf sleepreadership who are dreamsaddled on gifthorses dreamt up by untravellable wrongroads?

some of us are already beginning to notice changes though they are at times subtle and seemingly without direction. and we cannot tell whether you are forcing us closer to nature or yet farther away.

are these--is this another moment when we will instinctively unfocus our eyes so that the ugly part does not jar us and the pretty part registers as only a meek texture?

do you see?--our sleep-poisoned, dream saturated biblebrains who once registered the unbeautiful or the un-ugly in useful, animal ways you have reset at an absolute, disorienting zero.

what is left to us, as animals, now? i will tell you what is left to us, as animals, now.

what is left to us, as DREAM ANIMALS, anyway, now is for a few cents a minute an autonomic clandestine dream laboratory might could sightshout something grotesque through our sleepmind's ear that once heard we can never clear its reverberations from our waking ear. and that barbaric sound looks like it would feel ugly if we were able to become completely conscious of it.

so, to this end, you have set up a clandestine dream laboratory beneath our feet that enforces a recalibration of our minds while we slumber and then erases from our memory the how and the why yet leaves us aware that we have been altered and maimed in an indescribable way. and "you" leave no trace it seems. but we've been wrong before.

KC. said...

that made so much sense, and then, none at all. and that is soothing in its lack of clarity, because that is all i have, and all
i
want.